Trolley Problems

I have come up with Trolley Problems while procrastinating homework.

Elderly Lady

A 5 mile long freight train is barreling down the railroad at 5 miles per hour, 1 kiloyard ahead of the train is an elderly lady slowly crossing the tracks at 1 foot per hour (she keeps stopping to look at birds), she has acceptable hearing and can move faster if necessary. You could divert your job to work by 50 seconds to let her know she could in fact look at birds on the other side of the railroad. Oh also there is a crazed gunman robbing the train and you happen to be a police officer. What do you do in this wacky whimsical trolley problem?

Daycare

Super Serious Trolley Problem.

There is a 5 mile long freight train barreling down the tracks at a mind boggling 2 miles per hour towards a dead end, the train is not capable of stopping in the 3 kiloyards it has before the dead end. 2 kiloyards ahead of the train is a junction which was flipped by The Boogeyman that diverts trains away from the high traffic Line E2 which leads to a high traffic port. This junction flip is the reason the train is heading towards the dead end. At the dead end is a daycare center run by a friendly neighborhood grandma. The train is carrying fertilizer and if it hits the dead end it will explode the daycare and probably level half of the town. You can pull the lever that will flip the junction switch and put the train onto the track it actually wanted to go down, which leads to the port.

The downside of the obvious option is that the Boogeyman knows that the obvious choice is to flip the lever again, he is a mass terrorist he obviously wants the town blown up, so he rigged the lever to explode, which means if someone, like you in this instance, were to flip the lever, it would blow you up and also damage the rails, there is an amount of time I do not feel like calculating from the aforementioned numbers (because kiloyard) until the disaster and the cops are not yet alerted. What do you do in this super serious situation?

Crazy Train

A two person handcar is speeding down the tracks at 4 mph, they are listening to Crazy Train and do not know that they are heading down a wrong track and are heading towards a very busy train station, if they keep going they will bring amusement to many people, but will also have comitted a crime, if you let them know, no crime will be committed, but the passengers wont get the enjoyable sight of an old timey handcar going thru a modern station. The biggest issue is that to do so you would end up nearly half an hour late to a very important meeting at work. Hwaet do thou do????????????????????????????????????

16 Lanes

Somehow even more serious trolley problem.

A protected ceremonial 2 mile long small gague railway that transports an average of 50 people per week between the small village of Birchville and the also small village of Brooksdale is under attack from a car lobby to be bulldozed a 16 lane highway serving two large cities will cut between the villages, this was the shortest route between the cities, the alternative is about 6 miles longer. You somehow accidentally sleepwalked last night so badly that you signed up for, interviewed for, and got the job as the regional transport manager and have the ability to stop the highway plans, but the lobby will get you fired and this is the best job youve ever had. Oh also the heritage organization running the railway is planning to plant a native woodland around the railway. ?od uoy od tahW

Toy Train

Hyper ultra serious trolley problem extreme plus: 

A toy train is barreling down the tracks at 5 inches per second, Little Billy is enjoying it greatly, however, in the carriage the train is pulling is a 50 megaton hydrogen bomb that will detonate in 4 minutes placed by, yet again, The Boogeyman. You are superman. Do you save Little Billy and literally basically the entirety of The USA, but you take Billy's toy from him, or do you let him live his final moments in bliss playing with the choo choo train? This one is super hard because both are totally so equal. What would you do in this extremely hyper ultra omega serious situation?